


for Haru's team

by hudgens77



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Canon, Friendship, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Post-Canon, and angst because i love angst, and maybe of ReiGisa if you want to look at it that way idk, hints of RinHaru
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-09
Updated: 2015-05-09
Packaged: 2018-03-29 18:56:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3907015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hudgens77/pseuds/hudgens77
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story starts the day that Haruka Nanase died. One-shot, angst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	for Haru's team

**Author's Note:**

> I love angst, and I had to write this. There's not much to say about it.  
> This one-shot begins at the first season end, some time after the relay and when the guys are already on vacations. It's not written in chronological order though.  
> Anyway, hope you like! :)

The story starts the day that Haruka Nanase died.

It happened as he was walking with his friends through the forest when they were looking for the secret place that he discovered with Rin a few years ago.

Rin's ahead, guiding them through a path of dirt that's barely noticeable due to the weeds. Nagisa sings some catchy pop song happily and Rei complains about how it isn't beautiful how he's off key and screams from time to time. Makoto's following, laughing as they argue.

And finally, Haruka is behind all of them.

To be honest, he's a little tired. He hasn't been feeling really well since the day before and he doesn't know why. Nonetheless, he keeps giving his best because he doesn't want to ruin everyone else's joy.

He hears the moment when Rin makes his way through the last of the bushes, he hears the sound of water. Rin stops and announces they have arrived, and Haru hears everyone screaming in admiration. And then...

"Guys, where's Haru?" asks Rin. Haru frowns and forces himself to give a few more steps —he's nearly out of the forest already. His heart beats like crazy in his chest and he's missing air. Since when is he in such a bad condition?

He comes out of the forest with a lot of effort. Everyone turns to look at him and Haru doesn't get why they look so worried. Does he really look that bad?

"Haru," Makoto pants. "What's wrong?"

Haru exhales and leans forward, placing his hands in his knees to have a little rest. Suddenly his chest is hurting really bad. He's dizzy, pale and covered in sweat.

"Haruka-senpai, are you alright?"

"Haru-chan..."

Haru tries to stand straight. He wobbles, his sight becomes cloudy and his eyes close. He hits the ground and everything happens so fast that his friends just have time to scream in horror...

"HARU!"

* * *

"Haru, are you tired?" asks Makoto as they jog at the tender age of twelve. Haru pants and frowns, refusing to answer.

Rin's in front of them. Nagisa, that annoying boy who doesn't give up even though his condition leaves a lot to be desired, is behind them all. Yet for some reason, the only thing that Haru cares about is that Rin's first —and that's no wonder, for that obnoxious redhead is used to jogging while Haruka isn't.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to," Makoto says, almost as if he can read Haru's thoughts. However, that only makes Haru angrier and he speeds up until he reaches Rin, even if it costs him his very soul.

Rin takes this as a challenge. When Haru reaches him he smiles and runs faster. Haru finds this frustrating and he follows. Immersed in the race, they leave their friends behind, even when Makoto announces that they should head back because they have their swimming practice.

And they get lost. Rin makes a turn, hoping to win and he enters the forest. Haru follows him. There's a path made of dirt that disappears little by little until it's almost entirely covered by weeds, but not even that stops them. Nor the leaves, the stones, the dirt or the branches cracking at their feet; the sound of their breathings being their only companion. There's a light at the end of the lane and they reach out like it's the goal. They come from between the trees and they finally stop not because they want to —they could compete for their entire life— but because there isn't a road to follow any longer.

In front of them there's a cliff, and at the bottom of it runs a big and gorgeous river. At the other side, the woods continue like they were never interrupted. There are a few cherry blossoms in full bloom.

Rin pants and smiles. They are alone and it's the most beautiful sight he's ever seen.

* * *

"You think... y-you t-think H-Haru would've l-liked this?" a weeping Makoto asks. Nagisa and Rei are hugging, comforting each other mutually; and Rin looks at the horizon with tears falling down his face and notices the cherry blossom petals floating in the air. There's a lot of people dressed in black, but they're all a blur —the four of them can only see the urn trembling in Haruka's parents' hands, where the rest of his friend remains.

—But not for long—.

Rin sniffs and nods. He breathes before answering, for he doesn't want his voice to waver.

"Haru loves this place."

Haru's parents say a few words before the ashes fly away with the wind and fall in the river.

* * *

"Look at this, Haru! Don't you wanna swim here?"

Haru says nothing. His blue eyes admire the water that flows beneath them so lively, fighting in the form of waves and hitting a few rebellious rocks.

Rin undresses swiftly and when he's in boxers he pulls Haru's arm to call his attention. "What do you want?" says Haru rudely, annoyed by the fact that his appreciation moment is interrupted. Rin puts that arrogant smile that bothers him so much and shakes him.

"C'mon, Haru! I know you wanna jump!"

"Jump yourself," Haru grumbles. Of course he wants to jump... the water's calling him. But the fact that Rin orders him to do it decreases the possibilities of him doing it, at least not at the moment.

"Pfff, don't be a killjoy! Jump with me!"

They tug at each other. Rin pulls him to the edge of the crag, while Haru tries to get away from him.

"No."

"Come on!"

"No!"

Pissed off, Haru pushes Rin away. Rin trips over a rock and screams as he falls from the heights.

Haru becomes frozen with fear —he didn't actually want to push him, it was just an impulse. And yet, he can't help being entranced with Rin's figure in the exact moment where his feet don't touch the ground anymore but his fall hasn't begun yet. He looks so alive, so wild with his red mane pointing in all directions; arms and mouth wide open in an exclamation of freedom and surprise.

Haru gives a few steps to the front in order not to lose a minute of the fall. Rin flails around, losing his fear and giving into the adrenaline. And then his body pierces the water's surface and he sinks completely, silencing his cry and leaving only echoes and the sound of a splash.

Haru smiles. He stares at the moving water, waiting for Rin to come out, but... nothing happens. Haru begins to worry after a few seconds —Rin should've come out already.

"Rin?"

The name echoes but no one answers.

"Rin?!" Haru yells again, beginning to lose his cool. "RIN! RIIIIIIIIIIN!"

Haru's breathing quickens. Overcome by panic he takes off his clothes as fast as he can and just when he's about to dive into the river to rescue his friend, Rin comes out to the surface, laughing madly.

"Rin!" Haru calls again, deeply relieved. However, the relief soon turns into anger when he sees the way Rin is making fun of him —his laughter is too loud and it scares the birds. He's red and he can't say a word.

"It's not funny," Haru complains from the heights, making a face.

"It is!" Rin answers, calming himself little by little. "Besides, you earned it when you pushed me."

"You wanted to jump."

"You're an idiot, Nanase Haruka," Rin reproaches. Then he smiles with bright cheeks. "Jump! The water's really good."

Haru tries to keep his frown, but it isn't possible when Rin smiles at him like that. It's contagious. So Haru gives a hint of a smile that lasts too little, gives a few steps back and runs to gather momentum.

And then he jumps.

* * *

It's not until a year passes when they talk to each other again.

It's the anniversary of Haru's death and Rei hasn't been able to stop thinking about it since he woke up. However, he waits until afternoon, until his track practice is over —because naturally, the swimming club split up— when he finally gives into the guilt that consumes him and he finds himself walking the forgotten path that Rin and Haru showed them once. But when he arrives to the cliff where Haru's ashes were spread, someone's already there.

It's Nagisa. He's sitting by the edge of the chasm, flailing his legs in the air and talking to himself.

—Or rather, talking to someone who's already gone—.

The blond turns to look at him with his hair disheveled in the evening wind. It's weird because despite the fact that they have seen each other at school, they don't hang around like before. Each one of them has a new group of friends, one that doesn't bring painful memories to the mind. Nagisa is close friends with Gou, Rei with the track club and Makoto with Kisumi and others. They usually say hi to each other when they meet in the hallways, but they never talk. They act like nothing happened.

As for Rin... He hangs with his friends at Samezuka. He avoids his family and Gou usually complains to Nagisa about it. They have heard that he's a really good swimmer and that Samezuka will soon be at Nationals. However, it's almost like he's a legend. He barely leaves the school.

Rei sighs, not knowing what to say or what to do. Nagisa looks bewildered.

"Rei-chan," he whispers.

"Nagisa-kun. Hi," Rei smiles awkwardly. Nagisa mirrors the gesture.

"Hi."

There's an awkward silence between them that they don't know how to fill, but they don't have to do much. They hear noises in the weeds, and soon, Makoto comes out from in between the trees.

Makoto is the only one of them that has visited Haru along the year, so he's surprised to find his old friends.

"Hey... guys."

"Mako-chan."

"Makoto-senpai."

"What... what are you doing here?" Makoto inquires like it isn't obvious. What he really means to say is  _why now? Why after a year?_

"I wanted to talk to Haru-chan," says Nagisa.  _I missed him_ , is what he actually means.

"Ah," there isn't much that Makoto can answer to that. He smiles, he's used to do it. "And what were you talking about?"

Nagisa's lips tremble. His eyes turn watery.

"I was telling him that... I miss him," he finally says; "and that I miss you too, and Rin-chan," his voice weakens and his sight becomes cloudy. "Haru-chan isn't happy that we don't talk anymore."

Surprisingly, is Rei who breaks down first and he takes off his glasses to wipe his tears away. Nagisa has always had a strange way to get to him.

"I miss you all too," he sobs. "I miss you a lot."

"Rei... chan," Nagisa whispers. Thick drops of water run down his cheeks. His face twitches and without thinking much about it, he throws himself at Rei to cry freely.

_Like the old times._

Makoto is touched by the scene and he can't hold himself any longer. He joins his friends, embracing them with his strong arms as they all apologize and comfort each other mutually.

_Haru would be happy to see this._

When they are calm, they sit by the edge of the cliff, just like they found Nagisa. Even though it's a bit awkward at first, the conversation gradually begins to flow like in the old times.

They talk about their lives, about how this year has been to each one of them. Makoto plans to go to college in Tokyo. Rei plans to stay in the track club —he's really good at it, so much that maybe he shouldn't have left it in the first place. But he doesn't regret it, because he wouldn't have met the best friends of his life. And Nagisa... Nagisa just knows that he wants to enjoy his last year to the fullest, and that he has good time to decide yet.

Inevitably, Haru comes up in the conversation. After all, it's him who marked them all.

"What do you think Haru would choose?" Nagisa asks sadly. The others look down and don't answer, so the blond tries to fill the silence. "I think that if things were the way they're supposed to be, Haru-chan would've arrived at the same time Rin did that day. The swimming club wouldn't have split up, and this year we would've gotten to Nationals and Haru-chan would become a professional swimmer—"

"I'm not sure if Haru would've liked that entirely," Makoto interrupts, wiping his tears away and dreaming that life is fair. Nagisa and Rei look at him in awe, drifting away in the same fantasy.

"Oh, no?" Nagisa asks.

"Well I don't know, but that sounds more like Rin. Haru didn't like swimming competitively."

"...but with Rin-chan..."

Makoto nods. "Yeah, maybe with him only. But Haru swam because he liked to swim, not for competing."

"Haruka-senpai was good at arts too, wasn't he?" Rei interferes, reminiscing some of Haru's works that he got to see. "Maybe he would've dedicated himself to that, and he would've swum in his leisure time. Maybe his inspiration would be swimming."

Makoto smiles. Death always hurts. But a young death hurts even more, because it's not supposed to be that way. It's not supposed for a young, healthy male to get a heart attack out of the blue. So it's inevitable for them to want to give him an ending, the one they think it would suit Haru best.

"I think Haru would've wanted a normal life. He was good at everything he did, so he would've studied a major to live comfortably and he would've swum in his free time for the pleasure of doing it. Who knows, maybe he would've started a family and everything..."

The sun begins to hide. The three friends watch the sunset with a romantic, melancholic atmosphere.

"What do you think Rin-chan thinks of this?" Nagisa says all of a sudden. "Do you think that he agrees with us, or that he has different conclusions?"

Rei sighs.

"I don't know. It's been a year since I don't see him."

"Neither have I," Nagisa answers sadly. Makoto looks at the horizon pensively and says:

"Maybe... We should go visit him."

He looks at his friends, there's uncertainty in their faces. They don't know how Rin will greet them, but Makoto smiles to cheer them up.

"For Haru."

Nagisa's face brightens up.

"For Haru-chan!"

Rei shakes his head, adjusts his glasses and smiles. The sun has already set and there are just a few minutes of light left.

"For Haruka-senpai."

_For the team._

* * *

"I can't believe this," Rin hisses, hiding his bashful face in Haru's nape and hugging his neck tighter. "This is so embarrassing."

"Agh. You're hurting me," Haru complains. Rin loosens up his grip.

"Sorry."

"Does it hurt much?" Haru asks.

"A little," Rin admits.

The sound of Haru's feet stepping on the dead leaves and mud on their way back through the forest is the companion for their on and off conversation. It turns out that Rin sprained his ankle when he fell from the cliff and they don't notice until they have to get out from the river after swimming all day long. The ankle is swollen and it impedes him to walk well, so Haru has to carry him in his back even if Rin refuses. But Haru doesn't mind, in fact he kind of enjoys it. Hearing Rin grumbling due to embarrassment is really funny.

They arrive to the school by twilight and, naturally, everyone is worried for them. The teacher in charge of them nearly gets a heart attack when she sees them wet, dirty and hurt —in Rin's case. And even though she's kind most of the times, she's terrifying when she's angry. Before she sends Rin to the infirmary and calls both Haru and Rin's tutors, she makes them sit down and lectures them about how worried she was, the things that could've happened to them and the punishments they will get. And the kids just watch her pace around the room and yell as they keep silence and hold hands, because everything is less threatening if they are together.

* * *

It's a big boy the one who greets them at Samezuka. His hair's wet and there's concern in his turquoise eyes. Apparently he comes from swimming when he sees them, frowns and inquires:

"What are you doing here?"

His big, strong frame is imposing, but Makoto doesn't allow himself to be intimidated. Instead of that he smiles nervously and asks for Rin kindly. The guy's features soften as he looks down.

"He's at the pool. He's been there since we left class. I already told him that he should stop or else he's gonna injury himself," he draws his hand to his left shoulder instinctively and grimaces; "but he just won't listen."

Makoto stares with compassion and thanks him. Then he asks his name.

"Yamazaki Sousuke," the big boy tells. Makoto tries to introduce them all but Sousuke interrupts him and says he already knows. Makoto stares in confusion but doesn't say anything else. It will be a subject for another day.

The Iwatobi boys go to the pool. There's no one else but Rin there, swimming like the world is going to end. His speed is something to be admired of, but there's something off about it. There's tension in the atmosphere. Rin isn't enjoying it.

Rin finishes another round and stops at the rim of the pool, resting his hands and head against the tiles. He breathes heavily and when he's about to come out in order to start again, he sees them.

"Rin," Makoto calls.

Rin's shocked. However, the bewilderment in his eyes soon turns into fury.

"What? What do you want?!"

No doubt it isn't the greeting they were expecting after not seeing him for a year.

It's Nagisa the one who speaks up now. "Rin-chan, we just wanted to see you. It's been a while since we don't spend some time all together—"

"A year," Rin sentences, severe. "And you know what? Were it for me, it'd be even more."

"But Rin-chan—"

"GO AWAY!" Rin shouts cruelly. "I don't wanna see you anymore, ever!"

"What is wrong with you?!" Rei yells back, startling everyone. He's furious, almost as furious as Rin. "We came here because we wanted to see you, we miss you, Rin-san! Don't you think Haruka-senpai would like—?!"

"HARUKA IS DEAD!" Rin shrieks so loud that his throat aches, but he doesn't care. He hits the tiles and breaks down crying. "Haruka is dead, dead, dead," he repeats between sobs and little punches that gradually lose strength. Everyone else gets a knot in their throat when they see him like that. "We will never be  _'all together'_  again because Haru isn't here anymore, and I..." his voice falters and becomes high-pitched when he adds: "have nothing to aim for."

Makoto closes his eyes and a tear rolls down his cheek. He takes out his cellphone from his pocket, takes off his shoes and gets into the pool, not caring if his clothes get wet. He approaches Rin and places his hand softly on his trembling back. The redhead looks up and before he can even say something, Makoto hugs him.

Rin cries his heart out.

In a minute, Nagisa and Rei are already there, melting into the hug. They let Rin vent —knowing him, he's probably holding himself back for an entire year.

"You'll find it, Rin-san," Rei whispers. "You'll find something to aim for."

* * *

"Do you remember the time we found that place?" Rin asks Haru after an evening of playing videogames. Everyone else is already gone for they have other things to do, so they leave them alone at Haruka's place.

"Yeah," Haru replies. It's weird —in a good way— how swimming that relay with everyone has helped Rin to be the way he used to be before leaving to Australia.

"We should go again," Rin proposes. Haru's eyes brighten up: he loves that place and he hasn't visited it since Rin left.

Rin laughs when he notices Haru's excitement in his eyes. "Let's go tomorrow morning, what do you think?"

Haru closes his eyes and fakes indifference. "I have nothing else to do, so it's fine."

Rin punches him playfully. "Idiot. It's obvious you want to go."

"If you say so..."

They even argue like in the old times. Rin leaves at night and, prompt as always, he arrives in the morning and has to get Haru out of the bathtub and pressure him to dress himself. Rin isn't delicate like Makoto, but that's his style and Haru doesn't mind. He just pretends it does because it's fun to make him mad.

They leave the house and Rin dares Haru to race. Naturally Haru can't reject the challenge.

Everything is like that day a few years ago. The sun shines and the boys run like their life is going to end. They arrive at the forest and Haru thinks he could stay like that forever —he loves all of his friends, but there's something different about Rin. Rin's the only one that can be a friend and a rival at the same time. He's the only one that understands him about how important swimming is. He's the only one that makes him feel motivated to compete.

They reach the end of the road and come out at the same time. They have seen that place before, but the sight always leaves them breathless. The place is still lonely, virginal. The river that runs under the cliff is still pristine and beautiful. The forest at the other side is still green and lively. The cherry blossoms are full of flowers.

Haru takes off his clothes and, as usual, he's wearing his swimsuit underneath. Before Rin reacts he jumps off the cliff and falls into the water.

"Hey! You didn't wait for me!" Rin exclaims. He grumbles and takes his clothes off in a bad mood. He's prepared and he's already wearing his swimsuit too. He jumps after Haru.

They fight. Rin splashes him for not waiting for him and Haru retaliates. They swim. They have fun all day between friendly discussions, competitions and laughter. Rin wonders whether Haru notices the way they sometimes touch accidentally, because he certainly does.

They don't leave the water until the sun is beginning to hide, and just because it's getting cold. They climb the cliff again and Haru lays down on the ground as Rin dries himself. He's tired.

"Hey," Rin calls him, sitting by him and pinching his cheeks. "What is it? Don't tell me you're tired."

Haru frowns at the provocation and sits up. He gets a bit dizzy by doing it and draws his hand to his head. It's then when Rin notices something's wrong.

"Hey, Haru, are you okay?"

Haru shakes his head.

"What is it?"

He breathes. Neither does he know. It's just a general feeling of discomfort.

"Nothing," he says when he doesn't have an answer.

Rin snorts, giving his back to Haru in order to dry his feet. It's then when he feels Haru's forehead lean against his back and he freezes. His skin is cold, wet, but it makes him feel warm. His breath against his skin doesn't help to decrease the blush that has appeared in Rin's cheeks.

"I'm just a little tired," Haru argues. "It'll go away tomorrow."

"S-speaking of tomorrow," Rin curses himself for staggering; "I was thinking it'd be a good idea inviting everyone else here. But if you're not feeling well..."

Haru cheers up all of a sudden. The fact that Rin is taking into account everyone else, their precious friends, makes him infinitely happy.

"Yeah," he whispers longingly. He doesn't care if the place is no longer a secret. That won't make it less special. "Yes, let's come tomorrow."

"But you're not fine..."

"I already told you it'll happen."

Rin sighs. When Haru is acting stubborn no one can make up his mind.

"Okay. But if you're not feeling well tomorrow morning we'll leave it for another day."

Haru groans. He knows that he doesn't have another option but to give up.

"Okay."

"Well," Rin says. He fidgets slowly so Haru will notice and won't hurt himself. Haru moves his head and looks at Rin from the ground when he stands up.

Rin turns around, bashful.

"I-I guess I'll have to carry you this time."

Haru can't say no. He's weak and it's a long way home.

They don't speak. Rin's too nervous and Haru doesn't have anything to say, so he relaxes against Rin's back. It's so comfortable being close to him that he almost falls asleep.

But then they arrive to Haru's home and Rin calls him softly. Haru opens his eyes and let go of Rin. He's feeling a little better.

Rin says goodbye and Haru asks him if he has a fever. He's redder than a tomato.

That comment just makes Rin blush even more and yell at Haru that no, he doesn't have a fever. Haru plays along, causing Rin to get mad because it's obvious he doesn't believe him. And then, before leaving and in a rushed goodbye, Rin places his lips against Haru's cheek.

"See you tomorrow!" he exclaims before running off. Haru blinks and draws his hand to the recently kissed cheek, startled. He keeps staring at Rin until he disappears from his sight, and just then he enters his house.

He's pretty sure that the butterflies in his stomach have nothing to do with his weariness.

* * *

They leave Samezuka by late night. They'll come back to the not-so-secret place at Rin's request, and then maybe they'll have dinner somewhere else.

And as they talk as if nothing has happened, Haru runs through their minds.

They'll never forget him. A friendship like theirs can't be forgotten.

For Rei, Haru is like the night: apparently gloomy and silent, yet only those who stay long enough to get used to it are the ones who will discover their pacific nature, their elegance and their  _beauty_.

Nagisa thinks Haru is more like the ocean: mysterious, daring and maybe a bit selfish; but that just adds to their perfect imperfection.

For Makoto, Haru is the sky. Blue, omnipresent,  _infinite_.

And for Rin...

Haru is like a competition. He's a challenge and there's no one else who can give him that sensation of anxiety and longing, those butterflies in his stomach and that discharge of energy that he feels when they swim together. Haru is incomparable, he's the shining that guides him and makes him keep going forward. He's the way.

And now Haru's gone, but he's still there. There isn't a way that his story will have an ending because he has left a deep mark in everyone he knew: he's the night. He's the ocean and the sky. He's the admiration and the destiny, and even if his body dies he won't, ever.

* * *

 _It's been a good day_ , it's the thought that runs through Haru's mind as he rests in his bed. The discomfort is gone for the moment, or maybe he's just too tired to notice. He thinks that he has to bath and get ready to sleep, but he doesn't want to move and his eyelids are closing. And when he's about to give up to Morpheus charms, his cellphone rings and starts him. Haru reads Rin's name in his screen and answers reticently. Rin asks him how he's feeling and Haru says he's better, slightly touched by his concerned tone. Then Rin tells him that he's told everyone else about their idea and they all said yes. He sounds excited and Haru gives a hint of a smile. He's happy too. There's nothing better than spending time with the people he cares about the most.

Rin notices that he's tired and finishes the call soon, wishing him a good night. Haru falls asleep with the cellphone next to him after hanging up and dreams about how fun the next day will be.

Makoto will pick him up in the morning and they'll meet with Rei and Nagisa on the way. Rin will already be by the woods when they arrive and they both will guide everyone else. There will be laughter, nature, food. They'll splash each other, dive, play in the water until sunset.

Haru knows that he couldn't have asked for a better group of friends. Or for a better life.

He's happy, and as he dreams, he smiles.


End file.
